I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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