I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
