i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
