I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
