just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
