I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize