I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
