Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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