We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
