I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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