Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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