He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize