I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
