she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize