I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
