You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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