Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
