That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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