If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
