we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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