I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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