A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
