how can u be prego again
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
