i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize