People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
