i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He felt like a one man threesome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
