I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
