Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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