was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
