If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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