Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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