I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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