i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize