You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
