I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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