Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize