I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
