no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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