the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
