Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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