I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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