I hate your face
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
