I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
