If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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