I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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