I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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