We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Panties = found
Randomize
