I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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