Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm really busy with my period
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