from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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