i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
