you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We got so high we made milksteak
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
