Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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