You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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