Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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