Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How naked do you want me to be?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
