Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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