East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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