I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
