I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
