Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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