if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
