if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
