This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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