to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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