life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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