how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
