So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
