I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
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Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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