your thong is hanging out like whoa
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You can't special order awesome
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize