I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
