just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
