Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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