and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
