How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize